Don’t Be a Kept Man

amming the 7000 guan, and not even one woman was hired.
But those write ups were not written by me, hu, but I already helped you find out who, Da-Ren.
That censorate lives on the east side, the family surname is Liu.”

“What is the point of finding out who! Can I kill him? Or slaughter his entire family, hmm?”

Chen Miao Ping shook his head and fixed his official hat.
Then he turned around and continued his patrol, 

“One is worthless if one does not get attacked by jealousy and envy.
Let them do as they wish.
Censorates only rely on their mouths anyway.
They even dare to scold the Emperor, what’s the matter if they write me up once or twice?”

They didn’t patrol very far, before the sky started to darken, and black clouds crowded above the capital.
And not long after this, it started to rain, pitter-pattering onto the cobblestones.
Many pedestrians were rushing to and fro, and the boisterous main streets were suddenly emptied in the blink of an eye.

Chen Miao Ping did not want to wear the straw capes, as when they got dripping wet, it felt disgusting.
He sat inside of a tea stand to avoid the rain and Qian Tong naturally went to procrastinate with him, 

“Da-Ren, you might get written up again for not doing your job.
There is still about half of the streets left that have not been patrolled yet.”

“It’s raining so heavily, all those thieves would have gone home to sleep.
Look around you.
Are there even anyone on the streets? Maybe you will be happy if you get to bump into a ghost.”

The temperature was drastically cooling and Chen Miao Ping was cold enough to shiver uncontrollably.
He lifted a cup of hot tea to warm his hands and decided to find an opportunity to slip away when he was finished.
And the more he thought that, the more Qian Tong this sticky duckling irritated to his eyes.

The cobblestone floor suddenly transmitted the clear sound of a horse galloping through the streets, and from far away, they could see a very lavishly decorated horse carriage coming closer.
It stopped in front of the tea stand, and the curtain was lifted with an oval shaped beauty stepping out.
Out from the doorway she appeared with a cloak in one hand and an oil-covered umbrella in the other.
Chen Miao Ping could immediately recognize that this was Ren Dong.

“Gu-Ye.”

Hearing her call out to him, Chen Miao Ping unconsciously straightened up, 

“Hmm? Why are you here?”

“The rain has gotten heavier, and Second Master was worried that Gu-Ye would be freezing as you dressed very lightly when you left the estate this morning.
He specifically sent me to bring this cloak over to you.” 

And then Ren Dong signalled for him to step up to the carriage, her eyes hiding a smile.

Chen Miao Ping immediately got the signal and received the cloak from her hands before heading straight into the horse carriage.
Qian Tong, noticing this from the corner of his eye, immediately pulled away from the trance he was in from seeing such a beauty like Ren Dong and stretched out his neck to yell, 

“Ack! Da-Ren, where are you going!”

Chen Miao Ping didn’t even turn his head back to reply, 

“You drink your tea! This Da-Ren will patrol the streets in this carriage!”

Qian Tong: “……”

When he flipped open the curtain doorway, he could see Xie Yu Zhi sitting on his knees, leaning on the soft cushioned area and reading a book.
And when Xie Yu Zhi noticed Chen Miao Ping, he straightened up, grabbing the towel by his side to throw it towards Chen Miao Ping, 

“Dry yourself.
You are completely soaked.”

Chen Miao Ping wiped his face and then wiped his hands.
His hair was damp, and with his face, the more you look at him like this, the more good looking he was.
He made a face at Xie Yu Zhi, laughing until the dimples on his face were showing, 

“What, missed me?”

Xie Yu Zhi placed down his book, not wanting him to be so satisfied, 

“Today, the Emperor called me into the Imperial Palace, and since it was along the way, I came to take a look at you.”

Oh, so it was along the way huh.

Chen Miao Ping recalled Qian Tong’s words of him being written up and had a flustered moment of fear, hoping that the Emperor was not mad enough to tell on him.
He couldn’t help but ask a few questions, 

“What did the Emperor beckon you to the palace for?”

Xie Yu Zhi looked down at him with his hand on his chin, 

“Hmm…… there will be a few emissaries from the Liao Empire heading into the capital in the next couple of days, and the palace will be setting up a banquet to welcome them.
He wanted me to go, and then we discussed a few random things.
He also told me about the morning assembly this morning too.”

Today, there was a write up of Chen Miao Ping presented to the Emperor by a Grandmaster of Censor, and Chang Guo Gong naturally would not just blink his eyes, passively watching his son-in-law be told off.
The two of them exchanged battles of spit the entire morning, their saliva flying everywhere. 

 

And so everyone, from the administrative officials to the military officials, knew that the newly appointed City Warden Inspector had gone to an entertainment house yesterday.
But it wouldn’t be considered a big deal, as what kind of man does not have a sexual drive? Who in their youth has not gone?

They just purely think that for Chen Miao Ping to live past the second day under Xie Yu Zhi was a curious case.
There was an official from the Ministry of Rites1, Assistant Minister Shen2, who had gone to Chun Xiao House just once, and his brutish wife, who was well versed in martial arts, chased him down eight streets, brandishing a broadsword at him.
His life almost flew away that day.

Xie Yu Zhi then said, 

“Wu An Hou sent someone to deliver your 7000 guan today.”

Hearing this, Chen Miao Ping’s eyes lit up and automatically shuffled closer to him, 

“In coins or banknotes?”

Xie Yu Zhi smiled very meaningfully before saying, 

“Banknotes.”

Chen Miao Ping immediately squeezed himself beside Xie Yu Zhi, attentively looking at him.
He lifted Xie Yu Zhi’s right leg into his embrace, gently and carefully massaging him, 

“The days are getting cold, and your knees will easily ache with pain.
When we get back home, you should treat it with some medicine.
I’ll help you.”

A handsome, elegant, princely man, no matter what he did, it was as if his entire being was in love with you, doing everything drenched with love.
The other’s warm palm was slowly sliding along his legs, and Xie Yu Zhi couldn’t help but remember the last time Chen Miao Ping helped him with his medicine.
His ears blushed, but he coldly snorted before saying, 

“You don’t get up early if there’s no value in doing so.
I don’t see you being this attentive and caring normally, you must be scheming for a scam.”

This phrasing was not right.
Sleeping with his own husband is not scheming, taking back his own money cannot be counted as scamming.

Chen Miao Ping sighed, 

“Second Master, you have such a ruthless heart.
How I normally treat you, do I not scrape out everything I have in this body for you? How could it be that I am not attentive and caring towards you?”

“Oh?” 

Xie Yu Zhi smiled, 

“And here I thought you wanted your money.
So it was me who created such a misunderstanding.”

“What’s mine is yours.
What’s yours is mine.
A family should not talk about splitting.” 

Chen Miao Ping pulled on Xie Yu Zhi’s slightly cold hands, warming them up in his hold. 

“Money should not be so carelessly placed.
A thin flimsy wavy sheet, what should you do if you lost it?”

So,

“Where did Second Master put it?”

Xie Yu Zhi brushed off his hands and continued to read his book, 

“Oh, I forgot.
My memory’s bad.”

Hearing this, Chen Miao Ping’s eyes subconsciously drifted to the camouflage green pouch by his waist.
It was not too big, nor was it too small.
It should just perfectly fit a stack of banknotes.
Xie Yu Zhi seemed to sense his gaze and untied it to throw it at him, 

“You like it? I’ll give it to you.”

Chen Miao Ping thought he was really quite pitiful.
He silently stuffed the pouch into his sleeves and then wrapped his hands around Xie Yu Zhi’s waist, burying his face in the hold.
He didn’t speak, and only kept the action of trying to bury himself in, brushing back and forth, left and right, as if he was a cat.

Xie Yu Zhi lowered his eyes to look at him and a flash of laughter seemed to pass through them.
But he only retracted his gaze and continued to look at his book.
When Chen Miao Ping discovered that Xie Yu Zhi was not paying attention to him, he turned boneless on top of his legs, 

“Second Master.”

Xie Yu Zhi calmly stated, 

“I really don’t remember where I put it.”

The rain was getting heavier and heavier outside.
Ren Dong held up the umbrella as she jumped down from the front of the horse carriage, 

“Second Master, Gu-Ye, we have arrived.”

Chen Miao Ping first jumped down and then opened an umbrella to help Xie Yu Zhi down.
The two of them did not enter very far into the estate when they saw a group of servants rushing hastily back and forth. 

Ren Dong caught a small maid and asked, 

“Ah, what happened? Why are you all rushing like this?”

The maid answered, 

“We don’t know what happened today, but there was a shingle missing from the roof of Dian Yun Pagoda.
The rain was raining down nonstop through the hole, and all the work documents were drowned in water.
Even the extremely high quality Narra statues were soaked in water.
Gong-Ye is blowing up in anger, and he’s looking for people to fix it right now.”

Hearing this, Chen Miao Ping and Xie Yu Zhi for some reason became silent.

“I remember…… last time, didn’t you……”

Chen Miao Ping let out a “szz” sound and turned his eyes to look at Xie Yu Zhi in amusement.
As if just recalling that this guy climbed up on Dian Yun Pagoda and pried open a shingle to spy on his test.
Did he forget to put it back?

Xie Yu Zhi looked at him emotionlessly and didn’t say a word.

Chen Miao Ping turned his head to head towards Dian Yun Pagoda, pitching up his voice, 

“Father-in-Law! –“

“Bastard!” 

Xie Yu Zhi immediately pulled him back, his voice full of anger, 

“You can’t rat me out!”

 

Notes:

 

*1 Ministry of Rites- a division in the Imperial Court that oversees all imperial and court rituals, managing visits by foreign dignitaries, supervising state-sponsored education, managing the civil service examination recruitment system and more along these lines.

*2 Assistant Minister Shen- there’s actually different positions that this title could be referencing based on the dynasty such as moving up in the ranks based on three categories, being an vice minister, an assistant to the head of the ministry, or an assistant to anyone in the ministry itself…