Chapter 145: What in the World

The dream in Qu Yan’s mind was hell on earth.

Entire highrises falling one after another, dust blowing into a storm, numerous citizens fleeing as they cried, yelled, and struggled, and yet nothing could be done. 

The ground began to shake violently, tearing into numerous cracks.
Lava began to bubble and crackle from underneath while an immeasurable amount of demons with terrifying otherworldly faces slowly crawled out from the cracks and began to swallow up the humans.

Blood, blood was everywhere……

The ground was covered with pieces of limbs and organs as the burning red hot lava continued to spill out, boiling up all the souls until they turned straight into ash, and the grey, grey sky was slowly darkening with black clouds rolling past until you couldn’t even see your fingers.

Qu Yan was in the middle of the crowd but he did not hide nor evade, letting the lava swallow him up, swallow his blood and his bones.
Covering his face with both of his hands, his dark and twisted eyes looked through the cracks towards the world that was slowly falling apart, piece by piece, and he let out a quiet laugh, a laugh that only illuminated how sick to the bone he was.

Before the demon wakes up, no one knew he was a demon.

Before this point, he had never drank fresh blood because he didn’t know the taste of it.

A self deprecating victim with low self esteem who had suffered too much has died and another even more terrifying demon was about to awaken.

He was swallowing the world and also himself.

In a split second, this entire city, this world suddenly lost its colors.
The air slowly filled with the smell of smoke and corroded metal as a wave of heat blew past.
Yet just as the last light in the sky dispersed, rain suddenly fell down.

They were small droplets but heavy and dense, gentle and weak.
If it had color, it would be pale blue, just like the corner of the sky as it was being washed anew.
In that moment, the burning heat faded away and the lava flowed back, leaving only peace and quiet.

The lighting in the storage room was very dim as Qu Yan’s breathing deepened for a moment before he was suddenly awake.
Opening his leaden eyes, there was nothing in his sight.
After a while of focusing his gaze, he finally realized that he was sleeping against a very warm leg and his nose was filled with the faint scent of mint, interspersed with the smell of cigarette smoke which smelled very good.

He was so comfortable that it made him incapable of remembering……


Qu Yan closed his eyes and then reopened them.
This time, he could clearly see a book dangling above his head, one that had an inky black cover with two small words in white —-

<< To Live >>1

Recognizing his book, his fingers twitched.
He silently grabbed the book with the hand with fallen out nails, marring the white sheet of paper with dirty trails of blood.

Pei Ran had gotten quite into reading it so he did get quite a jump scare from this.
But when he realized that Qu Yan could be awake, he moved the book out of the way out of habit and then was frightened again by the wounded half of Qu Yan’s face.

That wound was so deep that even with the anti-inflammation medicine, it looked quite terrifying.
Compared to the other half of the face, it was like heaven and hell.

Qu Yan suddenly seemed a bit pitiful, like a perfect jade piece without even a single piece of dust, suddenly broken with a crack; it made others look upon him with regret and pity.


Pei Ran packed up the contents back in the bag and placed it aside.
The exhaust fan was spinning nonstop, splitting up the blood red sky outside into pieces, so he could only tell that it was the morning of the second day by looking at the watch on his wrist.

Qu Yan moved his cracked lips soundlessly, as if to say something, but because of the high fever yesterday, he was unable to spit a single word out.
He looked up towards the exhaust fan, his eyes reflecting the blood red sky above which illuminated his pupils with a strange light.
Yet in a split moment it was back to that heavy darkness, withdrawing any kind of human emotion.

Pei Ran thought that he was hungry, so with one hand around the back of Qu Yan’s neck, he partially lifted him up to lean against his shoulder, grabbed a water bottle out of the bag and used the lid to slowly feed him water one lid-full at a time.

Watching from the side, Zhou Cang Ming, probably thinking that Pei Ran was quite hypocritical, knocked the metal tube in his hand on the floor rhythmically, a sign that could only hint at whatever he was scheming up. 

There was still more than half a bag of chocolate cookies left inside the bag, whatever cheap brand it was – so overwhelming sweet with a sugary aftertaste, a taste that made you immediately need to close your throat and your eyes. 

When Pei Ran just arrived, he had taken a small bite and then hadn’t touched it again.
So when he saw the bag of cookies, he could feel his stomach rolling over.
So without hesitation, he fed it to Qu Yan.

The face of this young man was like a perfect drawing, like an ink painting, timeless in its delicacy, yet there was a feeling that couldn’t be shaken off from him, a feeling of this depressive gloom. 

Qu Yan did not eat the food held up to his lips.
Slowly opening his eyes, he measured Pei Ran up with a dark and heavy stare.
After a while, he moved his lips, spitting out a word that was split into multiple syllables, 


So hoarse it was incomprehensible.

Pei Ran paused for a slight moment but didn’t reply.
Taking this chance, Zhou Cang Ming slid into the conversation in a tone filled with malicious intentions, 

“Why? Huh, to feed you well to make it easier to x?”

A smile filled with venomous thoughts came upon Zhou Cang Ming’s face.

Pei Ran smiled fakely at that and then lowered his head to look at Qu Yan resting in his arms.
He stared at him as if he were looking at a beloved and continued to feed him cookies. 

Elongating his syllables, he said, 

Feed you well so that it would feel better when we x.
So you better eat fast.”

Pei Ran was a womanizer in his past life so the malicious jokester in his DNA could not be stopped.
He thought that Qu Yan yesterday, with that kind of strength, would probably cut his hand right off, willing to starve to death and not…….


The faint crisp sound of a cookie. 

Without a word, Qu Yan had bitten off what was in Pei Ran’s hand.
In the matter of one night, he had visibly changed, as if he was the embodiment of an endless abyss, unable to see the bottom.

Qu Yan lowered his head so no expression could be seen, but from how furiously he was devouring the cookie, it could be seen how strong his survival instincts were, how strong his desire to live was.
Seeing the beautiful half of his pale face puff up slightly like a squirrel, Pei Ran suddenly felt some sort of interest and had quite the patience to continue feeding him.

But Qu Yan only ate a tiny half bite and then stopped.

Pei Ran said, “Eat.
After all, it’s about to expire.”

Qu Yan looked back at him and saw Pei Ran’s gentle expression, a bit lazy without  much frustration or any kind of darkness in his eyes.
It was so unbelievable, so out of this world that…… it couldn’t possibly belong to this world bathed in hell.

There was a viciousness to him as Qu Yan ate.
No emotion on his face and lowered eyes as he chewed silently, one mouthful at a time.
The kind of strength used as he ate those cookies was more as if he was trying to gnaw on human bones rather than baked goods, causing the wounds on his face to reopen.

Pei Ran was too lazy to even move his butt.
He threw the empty bag of cookies from his hands, not even slightly anxious at the loss of his food supply and then patted his leg, signalling for Qu Yan to lie on him.

The young man did not seem to care for anything anymore.
He silently moved back to lay in that embrace filled with the faint scent of mint, and closed his eyes, as if even if Pei Ran were to rip all his clothes off of him, do something in front of all these people, he wouldn’t have a single reaction.

But Pei Ran only ripped open two anti-inflammation tablets and sprinkled the medicinal powder on his face.
His actions were quite meticulous, just like how his face had that gentleness about it.

Qu Yan opened his eyes for a brief moment before closing them again, not letting anyone know what he was thinking about.

When Pei Ran finished applying the medicine, he had wanted Qu Yan to stand back up.
But upon finding that Qu Yan had shrunken into a ball, his entire body looking very tired, he didn’t have the heart to open his mouth.
He could only keep this awkward position and continue to read the book he had not finished reading.


A blood red ray shone on the pages, illuminating a sentence in black and white well but also covering it with a faint layer of blood lust: humans live for the sake of living and not for anything else.2

In the midst of the dust dancing in the air, someone’s stomach grumbled.
Zhou Cang Ming looked left and right but couldn’t figure out who it was.
He stood up from the ground, the long metal tube still in his hand, and paced back and forth like a leader before his troops.

“We have used up all of our supplies and we cannot just sit here waiting for our death.
It has been so long that the skies outside are still red and it probably won’t change.
I am familiar with this area, and not far away from here is a gas station and a supermarket.
To avoid any other people emptying it all out, we should do it ourselves first.”

There was some truth to his words, so after his speech, bodyguard Feng Tang stood up as well, evidently planning to head out and find provisions.
Including the two delinquents, it felt as if there was an acknowledgement and shift in the acceptance of power.

Seeing this, Zhou Cang Ming nodded his head in satisfaction,

“There is a van outside.
I found the key upstairs yesterday and there is still fuel, enough that we can go.
So how about this, the women stay behind, the men head out.”

The girl named Zhi Zhi nervously grabbed onto the arm of her boyfriend, shaking her head with furrowed eyebrows, 

“Sang Yan, don’t go.
It’s very dangerous outside.”

Sang Yan comfortingly patted her arm but then stood up, evidently agreeing with this proposal.

The only one with no reaction was probably Pei Ran.
He sat on the floor comfortably, using the book to block his face, trying to escape the “catastrophe” that Zhou Cang Ming was trying to bring down onto him. 

Who knew that before Zhou Cang Ming could even make a complaint, Feng Tang was the first to furrow his eyebrows and say,

“Young Master Peng, are you not planning to go out and find provisions?”

Find provisions?

Find provisions or go let him be fodder?

When experiencing extreme fear, Pei Ran, this useless body in battle, did not have that explosive survival instinct like others had; instead his hands shook and his legs weakened and wobbled, as if all air had suddenly been pulled out of him, like quickened sand that could not hold its shape to walk a single step, where the final result was to lie there and wait for death.

Besides, he did not recognize any of these people so who would be willing to save him in the face of death.

Seeing how Pei Ran was not speaking, Feng Tang lifted up the book away from his face.
This slight action immediately showed how feeble their master-servant relationship was.

“Not going.”


Pei Ran lifted his head, his eyes clearly displaying one thing–

Ya me te.
(no, stop it)3

Feng Tang: “……”

Zhou Cang Ming glanced at the gun on Pei Ran and then up and down his body.
Weirdly enough, he started to smile, 

“It’s fine if you don’t go.
How about this? You let me borrow your gun.
I’ll count that as your effort and I’ll split you a portion of the provisions.”

So in other words, those that don’t make an effort will have no provisions.
The middle aged woman sitting silently in a corner suddenly raised her head up in fear.

Zhou Cang Ming still remained courteous at this time.
For one, Pei Ran had a gun, and secondly it was because Feng Tang still had not explicitly shown which camp he sided with.
Seeing that Feng Tang already had that kind of on-the-fence attitude, the gun absolutely could not be given away.

Because this was a toy gun.

Pei Ran lit up a cigarette.
Even in the room, they could faintly hear the screams of the zombies outside.
He spit out a smoke ring and shook his head, 

“There are no more bullets in the gun.”

He spoke the truth but Zhou Cang Ming would not believe him, thinking that Pei Ran was just making excuses.
His face darkened slightly and he said coldly, 

“Then you will not get a share of the provisions that we find.”

Pei Ran had not experienced true starvation or hunger yet, nor had he been through the harsh trials of the apocalypse.
In his eyes, not eating for a few meals was not a big thing.
In his last life he had been lazing at home, messing up his internal clock.
The longest time where he had not eaten was for two days while playing games, so missing out this time would be easy peasy.

He was just going to say, if there’s none then fine, but a hoarse voice suddenly rang in everyone’s ears, 

“I’ll go.”

Qu Yan stood up from Pei Ran, his steps still stumbling, but perhaps because he had some food in his body, he did not look as if he was as weak and powerless as yesterday.
With his back against the wall, his overly long bangs covered the sharpness in his eyes.
With lips that were still a bit pale, he repeated himself, 

“I’ll go.”

Pei Ran was facing up towards the perfect side of Qu Yan’s face and from this angle, Qu Yan looked so very lean and clean.
His nose bridge was high, his bone structure very good.
If he went to university while wearing a white tee, he would probably be immediately capped as the most attractive guy on campus, that kind of style.

Zhou Cang Ming’s expression took on a mocking tone, and he asked derisively, 

“You’re going too?”

And then said without waiting for an answer, 

“Fine, at least you’re a man.
Better than those that won’t go.”

Pei Ran could tell that he was referring to him but didn’t mind it.
He only felt that with such a weak figure, Qu Yan, you better not be pushed by anyone to be fed to the zombies.
But then the main character shouldn’t die.
He hesitated for a moment before saying to Feng Tang, 

“Help look after him.”

This is my golden ticket, he can’t die.

Feng Tang nodded, a sign of agreement to the promise.

After Pei Ran said that, he looked over at Qu Yan, but who knew that he would just meet up with the other’s gaze.
He himself did not care to improve his abilities, but he wasn’t one to hold others back just because he himself did not care.
After all, the protagonist has to face hardships to level up, so Pei Ran did not stop him.
Instead he only said to him, 

“Be careful outside.”

And then grabbed the book he had just been reading to continue reading.
Qu Yan stared down at him from high above, but he could only see his inky black head.

Sang Yan was not willing to move however and stared at Pei Ran, 

“When we leave, wouldn’t there only be one man left? You?”

Pei Ran understood what he was trying to say; he was worried about his beautiful girlfriend being forced upon by him.
He flipped a page, not even raising his head to say, 

“You could also bring your girlfriend with you.”

A blush flushed all over Zhi Zhi’s face.

Sang Yan’s face became very constipated.
It was full of zombies outside, so how could he bring his girlfriend out with him to venture.

Seeing them not leave, Pei Ran impatiently lifted his eyes and said, 

“I’m gay, don’t like women, happy now?”

There was a moment of awkwardness hung in the air, and Sang Yan subconsciously looked over at Qu Yan.
But he only saw Qu Yan’s emotionless face and he couldn’t tell what the other was feeling.
So he scratched his nose, believing Pei Ran about 70-80 percent, and finally took his leave with Zhou Cang Ming and the others.

The moment they left, Pei Ran lifted up his head.

Although Qu Yan was the main character of the book, the goodness in him was, from top to bottom, all the way down to the bones, gone.
In the later half, he killed zombies, levelled up, and collected girls into his harem, his skills out of this world.
When he was at the base that some survivors created in the south, he was even able to make it up to the highest levels of management. 

Although his actions were quite like those of normal people, Pei Ran could still clearly remember what was said in the original novel that covered his current situation —-

“This world had not given him one ounce of kindness so Qu Yan did not see humans as his equals.
He used generosity as a cover for himself, but he was like a demon, wandering about the human plane.”

In other words, this main character was actually…….
like the villain.
Then those who tried to use him, hug onto this golden leg, was there really a use to it or none at all?

Pei Ran couldn’t remember the details of the novel, only able to remember the major events no matter how much he tried to recall.
The most memorable was perhaps the elemental skills.

When the apocalypse exploded into existence, when the zombie virus was rampaging through the entire world, when it became the law that those who were stronger lived, humans were also adapting to this new world and evolving.
In the midst of them, some would suddenly come down with a fever, and if they were able to survive it, their bodies would explode with an elemental skill from the inside.
Those who could not survive would turn into zombies.

The known elemental abilities were the electricity, plant, water, fire, ice, metal (gold), wood, mental, and spatial types.

The one with the most attack damage was the electricity type whereas the most mysterious was the mental type.
The one that gave the most safety and comfort was probably the spatial type.

Up until now, Pei Ran had never come down with a fever, so in this sort of life, he probably wouldn’t have an elemental skill of his own.
If he must gamble it all, he probably could only go out and let zombies bite him.

If he was able to persevere, surviving that bite, he would be able to attain a skill, but if he couldn’t, he would become one of the monstrous beings outside.

It was very easy to check if Qu Yan could be used as a golden leg.
He just needed to see if Qu Yan would be willing to share some provisions after he came back today.
If he did, then it meant that he still had some humanity in him and he hadn’t turned all bad yet.
But if he wasn’t……

Then Pei Ran could only keep on starving.

He had a book to read so passing the time was very easy.
But Zhi Zhi and that lone woman were evidently in states of unease.
The two of them were whispering with each other, but only faint sounds would occasionally float over to Pei Ran’s ears.

The lone woman was a sociable person and tried to get more familiar with Zhi Zhi, 

“Young lady, how old are you, you look so stylish and fashionable.”

Zhi Zhi awkwardly said, 

“You can just call me Zhi Zhi.”


The lone woman kept talking, 

“Me, I’m actually just 35 this year.
You can just call me Wang-jie4.
My man died from those monsters outside, leaving me so lonely, alone and helpless, with no one to look after me, unlike you.
Your boyfriend treats you so well, even willing to go out and find food……”

Zhi Zhi could just about get her meaning, and she turned her body away in response.
She looked outside through the window and switched the topic, 

“Why are they still not back? They left so long ago.”

They had indeed left a long while ago, about six hours now.

In that time, Pei Ran had already finished the entire book.
He glanced at his watch and then flipped back all the way to the first page, continuing to re-read as if he wasn’t in a rush.

Every second, every minute that ticked, Zhi Zhi’s heart felt like it was being fanned with fire.
She carefully walked over to stand in front of Pei Ran and hesitatingly asked, 

“What time is it now?”

Pei Ran glanced over at his wrist, 

“5 in the afternoon.”

The worry on Zhi Zhi’s face deepened, 

“When did they head out?”

Pei Ran: “9 in the morning.”

Zhi Zhi’s face paled dramatically, as if the air was sucked out of her and she fell onto the floor with a loud noise.

Pei Ran comforted her with no sincerity in his voice, 

“There won’t be any issues as there’s Feng Tang.
He retired from the military.”

As if to prove his words, they could suddenly hear the faint sound of a car engine revving up in the distance outside.
Before long, there was a smattering of footsteps coming closer and right after, there was the loud sound of the storage door being opened, evidently signalling the return of Zhou Cang Ming and the rest of the group.

Zhi Zhi ignored the heavy expressions on their faces, pouting her lips and falling into Sang Yan’s arms.
Tears were almost falling out of her eyes as she said, 

“Why are you only back now! Scared me to death wu wu wu ……”

Sang Yan tightly hugged onto Zhi Zhi but he didn’t speak.
Each of them were holding a bag, a bag that was filled with provisions that had already been split between them.
Pei Ran lifted his eyes and seeing Qu Yan looking alright, he eased up slightly.
But then he found that something was not quite right—–

There was one person missing from the group.

The delinquent with the mohawk did not come back.

As if sensing Pei Ran’s gaze, Feng Tang walked over and sat in his previous spot, using a cloth to wipe some unknown blood stain on his arm.
With a low and heavy voice, he said, 

“We bumped into a zombie hoard and that kid did not run so he was eaten.”

Zhi Zhi’s face paled drastically.

Pei Ran didn’t have a reaction as it was the apocalypse; it was normal for people to die, a lot of people even, and besides, he wasn’t that close to the mohawk.

After the events of today, everyone was starving.
They all sat down in their own spots and began to eat.
The middle aged woman looked left and right, but seeing how no one thought about sharing food with her, her face looked a bit off.

Feng Tang showed no sign of sharing his food either, but thankfully, Pei Ran was not that hungry.
He sat on the floor, folding a paper airplane.
Just as he became quite content, he suddenly felt a weight on his thigh.
He looked down, and someone had put a can of fruit and a bag of cookies there.

Pei Ran’s hand suddenly let go and the paper airplane floated down onto the floor, landing just before Qu Yan.
The latter paused slightly, just as he was about to grab some food.
He grabbed the paper airplane and opened it up, only to find that it was one of the exams from his school bag, the one with full marks.

Facing up to the dark eyes of Qu Yan, Pei Ran shamelessly gave him a thumbs up, smiling happily as he said, 

“Your marks aren’t that bad hah.”

And at the same time, he was so emotionally overcome on the inside, crying tears of happiness, thinking that he really did not hug this leg for nothing.
Look, didn’t he just get food and water.
This only made him strengthen his resolve to follow Qu Yan.

Pei Ran did not like cheap food, food that hadn’t been prepared to meet certain standards, but he could still accept fruit from a can.
Yet just as he was about to open one, he suddenly felt a numbness pass over him, as if he had just been electrically shocked.
At the same time as this feeling passed, a cold robotic voice sounded out in his brain, a voice that only made him want to punch the speaker.

[ Ding~ ]

[ Dear host, how are you~ The action that you are about to do is against the rules of this system.
This is the first warning.
The second will be a more serious warning and the third will immediately cost you your life points.
Please treasure your borrowed life that did not come so easily.

[ The Galaxy’s Self-Reliant, Self-Sufficient System has been initiated.
Our bottom line, our rule to follow, is to be self-reliant, self-sufficient, and reject being a kept man.
My dear, the sweetest result is to use the efforts of your own hands and hard work.
Let us strengthen ourselves!!! ]

Pei Ran: ?!?



Well… hello! Nice to see all of you Galactic Judges again haha.
It has been a while, hasn’t it? I truly, honestly did not expect to be taking so long to release the next chapter, but here we are… Some good news on that front, my “situation” is as much as settled as it can be (at least from my side), which unfortunately with the pandemic and just bureaucracy in general, even funeral arrangements and things afterwards took a lot of waiting and that, combined with the emotions, it took a lot of energy to… restart.
Still, life continues, the time keeps ticking away and sometimes you just have to keep going.
Anyway, the good news is that we will be settling back into a normal schedule!!! The only caveat about this is that it will probably come November (as Plum is going on an adventure haha so have fun Plum ₍՞◌′ᵕ‵ू◌₎♡), but hopefully by then we will have a few chapters ready in the bag (doubtful but one can dream…).

That’s about it from me! My plan is to hopefully release another chapter before Plum heads off on their wild adventure; however there are currently a few logistic problems with that, so… we will have to see.
In any case, we will see you all either in October or November! Stay safe and be well ♡(.◜ω◝.)♡ See you soon!



*1 << To Live >> is a novel by Yu Hua; for more info, please see the next footnote.

*2 This is a quote from the author’s preface of “To Live” (Chinese version).
The author had written different prefaces for different languages, so this gave me quite a bit of extra leg work lol (and a little bit of the reason why the release of this chapter got pushed back a bit).
The quote itself is really much more poignant and kind of like an overall encompassing ending sentence of the author’s feelings after finishing the novel, so how I translated it might be lacking a bit of that feeling (…like all my attempts at literary poetry here haha).

On a very brief note on what the novel is about, I’ll just stick the summary from the back of the English version haha:

“After squandering his family’s fortune in gambling dens and brothels, the young, deeply penitent Fugui settles down to do the honest work of a farm.
Forced by the Nationalist Army to leave behind his family, he witnesses the horrors and privations of the Civil War, only to return years later to face a string of hardships brought on by the ravages of the Cultural Revolution.
Left with an ox as the companion of his final years, Fugui stands as a model of flinty authenticity, buoyed by his appreciation for life–sheer life– in this unforgettable narrative of humbling power.”

I’ll quote a bit from Michael Barry, the one who translated Yu Hua’s novel, afterword in the English version which I think really puts into perspective what this line that this footnote is referring to meant (combined with the phrase of survival afterwards):

“Having grown up near hospitals and operating rooms during modern China’s most vicious and chaotic period, Yu Hua has created a fictional reflection of this reality, a world imbued with violence, death and unspeakable cruelty.
At the same time, his world is touched by moments of poetic brilliance, a passion for life and sublime beauty – a world where moonlight on a dirt path creates the “illusion that a layer of salt had been sprinkled along it.””

There’s also a really neat phrase that Michael Barry wrote, which I totally forgot to quote (@´_`@), but it was something like survival is an end for itself, that it can be a conclusion, and I think that gets to the heart of this line that the author (of this volume) highlights to put here.

This novel is not a light read, highlighting a lot of violence, cruelty and death and honestly, just flip to any page, you would definitely read anything of the three.
But… maybe similar to the genre of tragedy (relating to history or otherwise), there is a feeling of catharsis, and also this feeling that survival is a reward, an end to itself, especially given all the impossibility to think you could even survive whatever happened, that you could still keep living with a heart in humanity. 

I definitely would recommend taking a chance to read this novel by Yu Hua (I think there’s a small sample on google books) if you can withstand the immense amount of violence and cruelty (or even just how heavy of a read this could be).
Honestly just thinking back to this book just drenches me with this mood of… heaviness? but I think it’s definitely worthwhile to take a look if you are interested.
But also definitely be prepared for the emotional onslaught.

I’ll leave two final quotes here, one from the English translation of the preface (but called the postscript in the English version) that sort of captures a little bit of that feeling that I think relates to how Qu Yan sees Pei Ran (might just be me though lol), and one that I think captures the tone of the novel by Yu Hua.
I think both of them kind of add a bit to maybe the reasoning of why the author added this line/mention of the book (or even kind of setting that tone): 

“I once heard an American folk song entitled ‘Old Black Joe.’ The song was about an elderly black slave who experienced a life’s worth of hardships, including the passing of his entire family – yet he still looked upon the world with eyes of kindness, offering not the slightest complaint.
After being so deeply moved by this song I decided to write my next novel – that novel was To Live.” 


“Using laughter to cry, living beside the company of death” – Yu Hua.

*3 Technically it’s something like “elegant-small-butterfly”, but it really represents the sound of the Japanese phrase “yamete”/stop it(?). 

*4 Please refer back to this footnote for -jie

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